Have you ever believed something only to find out later it was not true?  Unfortunately, we often believe things about ourselves that simply are not true, and these limiting beliefs can hold us back from reaching our full potential.

4 Steps to Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs

A case in point is a belief I once had about myself growing up.  I had heard a number of times the question, ‘What’s wrong with you, are you stupid or something?”  So much so I began to believe there actually was something wrong with me and that I was not a smart person.  This impacted my decisions after high school.  I simply knew deep down that there was no way I could ever go to college; after all, I just wasn’t smart enough.

Instead, I enlisted in the Coast Guard. My plan was to do that until I retired.  However, along the way, I had a supervisor who saw something in me I did not see in myself.  He was working towards his bachelor’s degree and was taking tests for college credit.  Each time he would pass one he would show it to me, and tell me I should think about going to college and taking some of these tests too.  I thanked him but told him I just wasn’t college material. He kept after me to the point that I finally asked him if I took one of the tests, whether I passed or failed, would he leave me alone about college.  He agreed.  

I took one of the tests, and to my amazement, I passed it. This one event forever changed my life.  Shortly after that, I got out of the Coast Guard and went to college where I graduated cum laude.  I then went to law school, passed the bar in my home state and have been practicing law for the past sixteen years.

Recommended: 8 Habits To Enhance Your Mind Power

Thankfully, I had someone that pushed me towards overcoming my limiting beliefs.  As I looked back on that experience, I identified four steps that I went through to achieve my academic goals.  These four steps can be used to overcome any limiting belief you may have.

Identify the Limiting Belief

The first step is to identify the limiting belief that is not serving you.  A good way to start is to fill in the blanks to this question:  “I have always wanted to _____________, but I am unable too because I am _____________________.”  Perhaps you have always wanted to start your own business but think it’s too late, that you’re too old.  Maybe, you have a great idea for a book, but don’t pursue your dream because you believe you’re not a good writer.  Whatever it is that you want to do in your life, identify the beliefs that are keeping you from living the life you desire.

Challenge the Limiting Belief

The next step is to challenge the limiting belief.  Anthony Robbins in his book, Awaken the Giant Within, uses the metaphor of a belief being like a table top with legs.  The table top is the belief, and the legs are the facts used to support the belief.  However, often the legs we used to support a limiting belief are not factual, we just believe they are.  When we examine our so-called facts we find that we have blown them out of proportion and shaped them to form a false narrative.  When we begin to question these facts, the legs get cut out from underneath the table top, and the limiting belief begins to fall apart.

In my case, I had a number of experiences where I had done some dumb things.  However, upon closer examination, there were times I had done some smart things as well.  However, I had simply written those off as pure luck.  When my supervisor challenged me, and I passed that first test, I began to really question whether I had been lying to myself all those years.  My false narrative was being challenged.  I went on to take another test, and pass it, and then another. I began building and shaping new legs. What are the false facts you have been using to support your limiting belief?

Replace the Limiting Belief

Can the new legs support the old limiting belief?  No, because they simply are not compatible.  In this case, you will need to replace your old limiting belief with a new one.  Before May 6, 1954, the entire running world thought it was impossible for a person to run a four-minute mile.  However, on that date, Roger Bannister did the impossible and ran the mile in 3 minutes and 59.4 seconds.  The next year, there were people all over the world that were doing sub-four-minute miles, but they were beating Bannister’s time. How? They changed their limiting belief of one that they could not run a mile in less than 4 minutes, to a belief that they actually could.  For me, my belief became that I actually was smart enough to attend college, so much so that I believed I could go further and attend law school as well.  Two of the most powerful words in the world are I AM.  To form your new belief simply write out I AM ____________, and fill in the blank with new belief.

“Act As If” You Have Already Achieved

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Will your new belief take over night?  Probably not.  You have had your old limiting belief for so long it’s going to take time to build up those legs to support your new belief.  There is an old saying of “fake it till you make it”, but a more positive outlook would be to “Act as if” you have already achieved your new belief.  If you wanted to be a world class musician, how would that person act?  Or an athlete at the top of their game?  Perhaps your belief is you’re a great business person.  How would a great business person act?  Whatever your new belief is act as if you are already that person.  What would such a person do?  For me, a person who is good at college would attend class, study, seek help from professors.  So I did those things.  I acted as if though I was already that person.

As stated before, it’s not going to happen overnight.  However, following these four steps you will be well on your way to identifying your limiting beliefs, challenging them, installing new empowering beliefs, and acting as if you have already achieved your desired outcome.

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How To Be More Confident In All Areas Of Life

Confidence is one of those things I’m sure almost all of us have struggled with at some point in our lives.

Being confident and having ‘more self-confidence’ can help us achieve great things. Yet a lack of it can leave us playing a much smaller game than we’re capable of in all areas of life.

I’ve struggled with self-confidence my entire life and it’s held me back in many areas. In fact, it’s only a sign of my own recent personal growth that I can confidently, yet paradoxically, admit to having struggled with confidence.

My past is filled with moments of choosing not to put myself out there or go beyond my comfort zone. Whether it be progressing in sports, talking to girls or trying to be successful6 in business, my scarcity of self-confidence always seemed to be a huge obstacle in my way.

What is Confidence?

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After spending a large part of my life wishing to be one of ‘those people’ who ooze confidence at every turn, I came to the realization that I was thinking about it in a way that was serving me very poorly.

A huge mistake we make when thinking about confidence is seeing it as this ‘binary’ concept. We tend to think about people being confident in either a ‘you are or you aren’t’ way. But this is vastly oversimplifying things.

We all feel confident in some areas of our lives and lack confidence in others. I’m very confident in my ability to write, coach, produce a podcast, play soccer, drive a car and various other things. Yet if you asked me to fly an airplane, my confidence would come crashing back down to earth.

So the idea that we can either be ‘a confident person’ or ‘not a confident person’ in such a clear cut way becomes pretty nonsensical.

Action Comes First

What this means, then, is that we have somehow developed confidence in certain areas of our lives. We pick things up, do them repeatedly and eventually get to a point where we feel confident in doing them.

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The key aspect to pick out here is that the action comes first, not the confidence.

When we first learn to drive, most of us are not confident. In fact, most people I know were pretty terrified their first few times of getting behind the wheel on an actual road. But getting back in that driver’s seat time and time again allows us to keep building our confidence to a point where we end up jumping in the car without thinking twice about it.

We don’t sit at home waiting for confidence to suddenly appear. Just hoping that one day it’ll all sort itself out and we’ll just have the confidence of someone who’s been driving for 30 years injected into us.

And this rings true in any situation. Piloting an airplane seems monumentally daunting to anyone who’s never done it before. But, in essence, it’s no different than learning to drive a car. You learn how, practice and eventually become confident in your ability to do it.

It’s the action that comes first and enables us to keep building up that confidence.

Getting to the Root

Maybe that news of action coming first isn’t exactly groundbreaking to you. Even if you hadn’t consciously thought about it before, it might seem kind of obvious when brought to the forefront of the mind.

And it still leaves us in this ‘catch-22’ situation of needing to take action to build confidence, yet not having the confidence to take the action in the first place. It’s easier said than done, although not entirely ludicrous, to suggest conquering a lack of confidence in public speaking by just getting on stage and doing it.

The root, I believe, of all this that needs addressing comes back to our idea of self-worth. Or, more specifically, how we measure our own self-worth.

Driven by societal ideology, without really thinking about it we create this story in our heads about our self-worth being attached to how well we perform. As if we’re only worthy of being an upstanding member of the human race if we perform to some high standard in many, or even all, of the things we do.

Ironically, this strive for higher and higher performance actually creates poorer performance due to the sheer desperation to prove ourselves surrounded by it. And what’s more, poorer performance that’s potentially combined with a barrel load of anxiety and inner turmoil.

To put it simply, we lose confidence in something we want to do before we even begin due to the fear of negative judgment on our performance. We start off lacking confidence because we don’t have faith in our ability to do a particular thing and perform to some exceptional standard.

Your Existence is Your Worth

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying we should all just stop striving to achieve things in life. That we should all just sit back and not care about performing well in anything and everything we do.

But it’s powerful to understand that reaching higher levels of performance in many things in life can come from not tying our own self-worth to it.

When it comes down to it, each and every person reading this article is proving their own self-worth simply by being here. It’s in-built and not something we have to find elsewhere. In fact, our existence is proof that we are worthy of existing.

When we reframe it in this way, it becomes okay to maybe be at 50% one day or to struggle and not be any good at certain things. That this happening doesn’t somehow make you any less worthy of being a human or receiving whatever you desire in life.

Understanding this opens up space for us to just show up wholeheartedly each day. We let go of this exhausting desperation to prove our worth to ourselves and others through our performance in each and every little facet of life.

So we gain the self-assuredness to go out there and just… perform. Perform to the best we possibly can. And while knowing that how we do doesn’t somehow detract from our worth as a human being.

It’s a much more peaceful way of doing things.

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How To Choose The Right Business Mentor

Mentors have helped me see things differently about what I want to accomplish in lifeand how to go after it – both personally and professionally. I truly believe I would not have gotten this far were it not for my mentors.

I’ve discovered some criteria that determine if someone will make a good mentor for you. Here’s how:

Decide what you need from a mentor

In order to find the right mentor, I first had to know what I wanted out of the relationship. At different points in my life, those needs have changed.

For example, when I was younger, I needed a mentor to help me determine if I could become an entrepreneur (and how). Now that I am one, I have a mentor to help me continually assess where I’m at in life and what I could do differently to increase my productivity, balance, social good and personal wealth.

Start by generating a list of short-term and long-term career goals, and determine what skills and knowledge you will need to get there. Then, list what type of benefits you perceive a mentor could provide. Decide if expertise in a particular industry is a must, or if you are seeking general experience and knowledge that can serve you regardless of your career path.

This information will help you determine whether you want a mentor with experience and skills to guide you regardless of the industry, or if you want a mentor that specifically can help you grow within a certain business niche.

Ask the right questions

Asking the right questions can help you narrow down your list of potential mentors, because their answers will provide you with a sense of what they would be like to work with and what benefits they could offer. Here are a few that I ask:

• What other types of mentoring have you done?
• What are the most important characteristics of a mentor?
• How would you describe your leadership style?
• What special skills or knowledge do you have that could help me?
• How much time do you have to devote to mentoring?
• Can you describe a typical mentoring program to me?

Identify traits of a good mentor

There are key characteristics to look for in a mentor that have helped me get where I wanted to be. The unifying factor is that they are all tied to positivity and objectivity. They include:

• empathy
• consistency
• patience
• maturity
• honesty
• openness
• accessibility
• strength
• savviness
• effective communication

Meet with your prospective mentor to see if you can spot these characteristics in action.

Get input from others

While there is no Yelp “Mentor Edition,” I have asked others for input on certain people I was considering to mentor me. I’ve also had people approach me and ask my opinion on the subject.

Referrals really help to narrow down the selection, because you have proven mentorship experiences to use as a measuring stick for your own selection process.

Listen to how others explain a certain mentor. Then, get a few opinions and look for patterns in responses before deciding to work with a particular mentor.

Create a mentor partnership plan

The responses I get to my partnership plan tell me a lot about what it would be like to work with a particular mentor. Those that stand out the most are the ones that give me their honest feedback, including what they would change about the plan.

How they present their opinion tells me whether we would be compatible. They don’t have to agree with me — if anything, the best mentoring relationships are those where I was questioned about what I was proposing.

So, ask your potential mentors what they would change about the plan and why, and see if they have their own partnership plan they can share for comparison’s sake.

Don’t rush the process of finding a mentor, because you need to make sure it will work for the both of you. It may be good to set up a trial period after making your initial decision to test your intuition. If it doesn’t work out, keep some other candidates on the back burner to try out next.

This article has been edited.

Murray Newlands is an entrepreneur, investor, business advisor and a contributor at Forbes.com and Entrepreneur.com. He is the co-founder of Influence People. Connect with @MurrayNewlands on Twitter.

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How to Give People Advice

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself. --Oscar Wilde

First of all, make sure that the person who is talking to you is actually soliciting advice. He or she may just want you to listen and be a good friend, seeking instead understanding, empathy, and compassion. Don't assume that everyone wants advice. You may have some insight into the problem(s),but you really need to listen attentively to a person first for a very long time to understand the situation. If, and only if, your friend actually ASKS for advice should you then furnish it.

It is a great honor to be asked for advice, but it is also a big responsibility. Good advice can help people make sound decisions or find the right path in life, while bad advice can have disastrous consequences. Fortunately, with a little forethought you can weed out the good from the

1.    Listen to the person asking you for advice. Every situation is unique, so never assume you know all you need to know about a problem. Listen carefully to the person who wants advice, and learn as much as possible about this situation. If you need clarification, ask questions. Being an active listener will not only help you give good advice, it will also increase the chances that the person will take your advice.

2.    Put yourself in the advisee's shoes. Try to imagine yourself in the other person's situation. If you've been in a similar situation, think about what you learned, but don't rely solely on your experiences to give advice--imagine that you are giving yourself advice for the unique circumstances that the other person is facing.

3.    Think about the consequences of taking your advice. While you're at it, think about the consequences of not taking your advice. If there's no significant difference between the results of those two scenarios, your advice might not be bad, but it's not useful either. Ditto if the action you advise is impossible. If you can envision the path you suggest leading to a worse result than an alternative path would, your advice probably is bad.

1. Take your time. When possible, think long and hard about all the possible courses of action and consider the pros and cons (or the benefits and costs) of each. This is especially important for more complex problems.
2. Think about both the short term and long term consequences of your advice. Very important decisions are usually very important because of their long term effects. Think as far down the road as possible.

4.    Empathize. Many matters require sensitivity and thoughtfulness. If you really try to put yourself in the other person's shoes (as suggested above), empathy will probably develop naturally. Even so, be very careful about how you word your advice and be sensitive to the other person's feelings and emotional state. Giving advice is more than a logical exercise. It usually involves helping a person sort through conflicting emotions as much as conflicting choices.

5.    Brainstorm with the person. Sometimes there is no clear-cut right answer to a problem. In this case, try to help the person mull over all the alternatives so that he or she can reach a conclusion together with you or on their own. Even for very simple questions, it can be beneficial to help the person develop his or her own advice, if only for the reason that he or she is more likely to take it.

6.    Be honest. If your advised course of action has potential drawbacks, tell the person about them. If you don't really feel qualified or knowledgeable enough about something to give advice on it, be honest about this fact. Your goal should not be to blindly lead the person, but rather to help him or her make a good decision, so don't act like a salesman.

7.    Set a good example. If you advise one thing but do the opposite, your advice will be seen as phony and hypocritical. If you do as you say, however, people will be more likely to respect your advice.

8.    Understand that the person may not take your advice. Just because someone asks for your advice, they are not obligated to take it. Realize that the other person almost always knows more about their particular situation and desires than you do, so you can never be sure that your advice is really the best for them. Understand that people will sometimes ask advice just in order to bounce ideas off of you, and don't be surprised if a person rejects even good advice and decides to make his or her own mistake. Live with it, and let the person live with his or her decision.

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7 Ways To Protect Fraudsters From Hacking Into Your Account

Unfortunately, fraudsters have no bounds. They are everywhere, which is why keeping close tabs on your financial life is extremely important. You can never be more than careful when it comes to your money – your hard-earned income. What you live on is not something to be joked with. Here is a list of ways you can protect your account from fraudsters.

1. Check your accounts daily:
It may seem kind of extreme, but it’s not — especially when it comes to fraud associated with a debit card and/or checking account. Monitoring your accounts on a daily basis will not only allow you to always have a good idea of what’s going on with your money, but it will also help you spot any potential fraudulent activity immediately.

And if you do ever see something that looks suspicious, contact the bank immediately and find out what steps you need to take to repair the damage.

2. Choose a bank with good customer service

When you’re working with a big bank, it can sometimes be tough to get the personal service and attention you may need or want.

Consider taking your business to a credit union or a local bank that has a good reputation. You’ll typically find that you get a better and more personalized customer service experience, which can make handling your financial life a lot less stressful.

You also want to make sure you’re banking with a company that you feel comfortable with, which is different for everyone. So do a little research into some local banks regarding their customer service and other things like how they respond to and handle any issues etc.

3. Never share your banking information with anyone
In order to protect your financial life, it is best you don’t share any of your sensitive information via text, email, phone, social media or any other messaging app.If you call the bank directly, that’s fine.

But if you ever receive a request to share your information, do not respond or provide any piece of information about yourself.

Thieves are looking to collect any bit of information on you that they can, so eventually they will be able to put the pieces together and gain access to your accounts. So never respond to any correspondence that did not originate from you.

Keep in mind that scammers have found ways to make emails, texts and other messages look exactly like the real ones you get from your bank or other company — even using the exact logos and language you’re used to seeing. So if you get a request or update that your information is needed for something, call the bank or whatever company that sent the request directly.

4. Use strong passwords & two-factor authentication

Any time you log in to any online account, your bank account or some other shopping site, criminals could be watching without you even realizing it. And any piece of information they can pick up about you could help give them access to what they’re really after — your money.

So it’s important to text extra steps to protect your information online, and many sites now offer two-factor authentication to help make it more difficult for scammers to get in.

Two-factor authentication (sometimes called two-step authentication) requires you to take an extra step to authenticate who you are when you sign in or when you are doing a transaction. It’s sometimes also referred to as two-step authentication.

The extra step just depends on the company or website, so it could be a unique code that’s texted your cell phone or unique password you have to give when authorizing anything over the phone.

Whatever the extra step is, opt in for it. It’s another layer off security for you and your money.

5. Don’t access financial accounts from just anywhere

You should never log in to your bank account – or any other account that contains your bank or card information — from an unsecured device or unprotected Wi-Fi network.

Ideally, you should have a separate computer at home that you use for your banking and other financial activities.

If you unknowingly click on an email attachment or link that contains a virus, that virus can scan everything in your computer and send it all back to criminals without you even realizing it! So having a separate computer that you don’t use for email, Internet searches or anything else besides banking would help you avoid those types of scams.

Here are some other ways to protect yourself when doing online banking:

• Never use public Wi-Fi that isn’t password protected.
• Even if a Wi-Fi network requires a password, it could still be accessed by criminals. So don’t sign in to your accounts unless you can verify with the owner of the network that it’s secure.
• Once you’ve verified the security of a Wi-Fi source, pay attention to websites’ URLS when you’re online. If you see “https” or a lock icon, that means the site you’re visiting is more secure and has an encrypted line of communication between your browser and the website.

6. Do not leave your cheque book lying around

Cheque books and deposit slips have your bank’s routing information and the account information. Anyone who is able to access your cheque book has instant access to this information. Avoid leaving your cheque book on your work desk. If you need to keep it with you at work, try to leave it under lock and key in a secure place, or keep it in your purse or pocket at all times.

7. Dispose of your bank statements, financial documents properly

Identity thieves are well known to go through the trash of unsuspecting people who do not properly dispose their bank statements. The bank statement has not only your account number, but also your mailing address, which are two very important pieces of the puzzle for identity theft.

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10 Ways to Protect Your Password or Pin code

If you don’t want to fall victim to internet and bank fraudsters, you must read these 10 ways to protect your password and pin.

Just when you were feeling confident about building strong passwords to protect your online life, here comes the next security challenge: safeguarding your four-digit personal identification number (PIN).

PINs can be tricky to use safely. Their short, numerical nature makes the temptation to choose an easily guessed number such as a birthday almost irresistible, and

PINs see heavy action in public in front of prying eyes at every checkout counter.

How can you keep your PIN and credit or banking cards safe and secure?

1. Don’t choose a PIN based on obvious, publicly searchable information such as your telephone number, birthday, address or social security number.

2. Never write your PIN number on the card itself or on anything else in your wallet.

3. Never record your PIN number in your cell phone.

4. Shield the keypad with your body or your other hand when entering your PIN at an ATM or store Ways to protect your PIN checkout terminal.

5. Don’t let your card out of sight once you’ve handed it to a cashier.

6. Be aware of your surroundings when you’re using an ATM, especially if anyone seems to be standing too close for comfort. If you feel uneasy, cancel your transaction and go to another location.

7. Verify that the ATM you’re using has completed your transaction and closed your account before leaving; and make sure to take your card and receipt with you.

8. Never allow a bank or merchant employee to enter your PIN number, even if they are helping troubleshoot a problem.

9. Don’t give your PIN number to anyone, even PenFed or store representatives who are assisting you with an issue.

10. Beware of emails that ask for or require you to list your PIN, even if they appear to come from PenFed or the merchant associated with your card. If you’re suspicious, contact the institution independently, without clicking on or replying to that email.

Safeguard your financial security

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How To Become A Millionaire Before You Hit 30

Okay this is not a get rich skim or a motivational book gimmicky but the careful study and research carried out by the business insider. An analysis of the personality traits and shared experiences was carried out on some of the biggest and best money markers and they all had some things in common. We are all aware that this is a free market world where anything is possible and many of us do not use the opportunities that presents itself, the first step you need to note is that it is a “Free Market” and you can make a lot of money so this tips should help guide you on your journey to becoming a millionaire before the age of 30;

How to become a millionaire before you hit 30;

1. Earning more money is easier said than done but its also an important step to being a millionaire. In this new economy saving cannot do anything for you, you just have to make sure you focus on what you earn that mean find a means to increase your income in increments and keep repeating it.

2. To secure your financial house and to grow exponentially you need to have multiple streams of income, this is one of the traits billionaires and millionaires have in common. So to earn more you need to increase your stream of income.

3. Finding yourself broke twice a year because you are saving is not a bad thing, the reason it should be like this is because you are not just saving but saving to invest. Buy bonds or lock your money up so even if there is an emergency you wouldn’t be able to get it, this would force you to look for ways to increase your earning.

4. You have to develop the habit of reaching decision promptly and the reason why this is an important feat, is because rather than spending productive energy on wasteful thinking pouring this energy into things that would increase your productivity towards positivity is better. Be decisive so you can decide on simple task as easily as possible, this would give room for a more optimal use of your brain power.

5. Don’t show off yet until your multiple strings of income are secure, so if you still have to enter that keke or ride that old even after you’ve hit your million mark do so until you are positive of the security of your income stream.

6. Your mindset for becoming rich has to be that you are in control and not that it is out of your control. The wealthy minds all know that increasing wealth is an inside job.

7. Being a jack of all trades doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be a master at all, invest in building yourself don’t stream line your attention be versatile, read books or inspiring podcast, this would build you into thinking positively and growing.

8. Most rich people are self employed, and this is because they know self-employment is the fastest way to wealth so don’t miss out on the opportunity to acquire great wealth. Ditch that steady paying job because its time to take the bull by the horn.

9. Money won’t just appear, you have to visualize, set goals and work towards them. Attaining wealth takes focus, courage and a lot of self effort. Rich people are very clear about their goals which is “They want wealth”.

11. The biggest financial mistake is your not thinking big enough, reach out for $10,000, 000 instead of $1,000,0000 there is no shortage of money you just have to be among those people that think BIG.

Few would take a cue from this tips others would ignore it as a motivational gimmick but time would tell for those who paid attention its all up to you!!!

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